"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Jim Rohn. This quote is one that speaks volumes and I believe holds so much truth. I remember growing up in elementary school the scare tactics to not smoke was “if you’re hanging around 4 smokers, you’ll be the fifth.” All jokes aside, it’s really true! If you’re surrounding yourself with successful, driven people you can also become successful too. There’s actual research behind this too. The biggest beef I have with this quote is like many of us, I don’t just wear one hat in this life. I’m a mom, a wife, a believer, an employee, and an individual too. Even though I’m the average of 5, it’s much more than that. So here’s how I’ve used that quote to better myself in each way.
As a Mother-
Growing up, I was one of 5 kids. Watching my mother, she was the first real example I ever had of what strength looked like. In my eyes, my mom could literally do it all. She worked full time and raised us five kids, while helping manage the family farm. I truly thought she was Superwoman.
As I’ve become an adult and a mother myself, I’ve learned that she was doing just what so many other moms are doing too. She showed up every day with what she had and gave it her all. That’s why I choose to surround myself with other moms who are striving for the balance of ‘doing it all’ but remembering it doesn’t have to be perfect. There are some days that are messy and hard, but that’s okay. Looking back, I don’t remember whether everything was perfect, I remember having a mom who was there for me every day.
As a Wife-
Your spouse is who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. Your good times and your bad. Your triumphs and losses too. That’s why when I’m looking for couples who I want to spend time with, I want it to be couples who are choosing one another in both of those things. Couples who communicate well, support each other and choose their marriage at the end of every day. Those relationships ultimately influence how I show up as a wife in my own marriage. They shape how I communicate with my husband, support him, and how I show respect. Because he deserves the very best version of me, and I want to be intentional about surrounding myself with people who help me become that.
As a Believer-
Faith has always been a very central part of my life. However, just like many other things if it’s not at the forefront, it can easily get backburnered and fall to the wayside. Even though I say that it’s important to me, if I’m not spending time growing in my faith then I’m not getting better in it either. This is where the people is surround myself comes into play. I have a group of people who help me grow, to pray for and to walk alongside me through it. My faith is important to me, so it's important that I surround myself with people who encourage me in that area of my life. People who challenge me to grow, keep me grounded, and help me become a better version of myself
As an employee-
Changing my career has really put into perspective for me how true this quote can be. I was quickly engulfed in a culture and work environment that challenged me to grow in the best ways. Being surrounded by people who were motivated to show up to work, passionate about the tasks at hand and constantly aiming to improve the mission. It has shown me that I can raise my own expectations, not to set limits on myself, and that capacity is a state of mind that I need to continue to embrace. Success is rarely a solo journey, and it’s helped me understand how powerful it can be who you surround yourself to be successful. People who believe growth is the only option and are excited about the future. When you’re surrounded by that kind of energy, it makes you believe you can take your own vision straight to the moon.
As an individual-
I’m not a bare minimum person. I hold myself to a high standard. However, I’ve learned I don’t have to do those things alone. In fact, I achieve more and push myself further when I’m with likeminded people who have the same or higher standards for themselves. I don’t pretend to be perfect, but knowing that those around me are watching keeps me continuing to show up for myself on an even higher level. Keeping people close by who encourage my goals, challenge my excuses, and remind me of who I want to be when life gets busy.
At the end of the day, I don’t need to have perfect people in my life. I need people who are showing up in every different role I play to challenge and push me to the best version of myself that I can be. Because if I’m not doing that, then I have to reflect on whether I’m really living in alignment with what matters most to me.
